As a woman, being single can be a love-hate relationship. On the plus side the world is your oyster, fun with your girlfriends, holidays, shopping, more shopping, dating and lots of time to do the things you love. The flip side of this is not having that special someone to share the things you love with which gets harder at certain times of the year like Valentine’s Day.
In 2011 when my last relationship ended, I decided it would be a good time to get clear on what I was looking for in a relationship, my thinking was if I was clear, I would attract that special man into my life. It took me a while to take pen to paper but one evening I started to write the “Elinor’s ‘Perfect Man’ List” . On separate post-it notes I wrote things that were important to me: He will be a loving and loyal man, career minded ideally running his own business, he will be my best friend , the man I will share my life with and we will grow old together, he will love music, concerts, theatre and hopefully dancing! The pile of post-it notes grew and it was exciting to then write them all into a definitive list. The list went onto my iPhone so I could carry it round with me at all times, I also had an “Elinor’s ‘No go’ List” these were the attributes that I definitely did NOT want to attract into my life, thank you very much!
Dating was the next step on the journey, I talked to lots of friends, acquaintances and business contacts and sometimes even shared my list with them which resulted in a number of dates. In the summer of 2013 I visited the Philippines to volunteer for a charity that I am a trustee of, it was an inspirational trip and when I returned I had completely forgotten about my ‘list’. I was very grateful for all the wonderful people I already had in my life, a career I love and so I decided to focus on myself and my personal development rather than focusing so intently on finding ‘Mr Right’.
In early November I attended a course, walking into the room I was instantly drawn to a tall man standing in the corner. I thought I knew him? When we went round the room and introductions were made I realised from his Yorkshire accent that I didn’t. I felt an attraction to him all weekend which I could not explain, we had not spoken – only smiled, just before he left he came and spoke to me. We exchanged contact details briefly with the agreement to meet for coffee, he hugged me and left. I was left with a real feeling of not wanting him to go. As they say the rest is history. Three months later we are loving life, sharing lots of special moments and planning our first holiday to Rome at the end of this month.
Letting go of the wanting brought Graeme into my life. As for the “hopefully he will love dancing” I got more than I bargained for: He competes as a Ballroom and Latin dancer with his professional dance partner!
After two dates I told Graeme about my ‘Perfect Man’ list. I think he was a little nervous (What if he didn’t match?). He needn’t have been. I knew without looking that he was my “perfect” man. As for Graeme, well he never had a ‘Perfect Woman’ list. He always knew that he’d recognise her when he saw her, he says. I’m glad he did.
Always remember to love yourself and never give up on love. Your kind of ‘perfect man’ is definitely out there too, a lot can happen in a year…
Commit to Change for your Chance to Win!
We have chosen the Alex and Ani ‘Cupid’s Heart’ bangle, representing ‘love’, as our Bangle of the Month for February.
Each month, we will feature a different bangle with a different meaning, to inspire us all to examine different aspects of our lives – our health, our relationships, our finances, our state of mind, our environment – throughout the year and see how we can change them for the better.
Tell us how you’re planning to change your life this year, and you could win a different bangle each month – and one lucky winner will win £150 at the end of the year to create their own stack of Alex and Ani bangles, bursting with positive energy!